What do Will Smith, Dr. Abdul Kalam, Chris Bosh, Anne Frank, Amitabh Bacchan, and Viktor Frankl have in common?
Think about it. Is it that they’re males? No, there’s Anne Frank in there.
Is it that they’re famous? Well, yes, otherwise I wouldn’t be giving you their example, but that’s not the answer.
The answer is that they’re all human. How silly, some might say, of course, they’re human. But I’m talking about a very specific, magic-like super-human power that they all seem to have.
This magic-like human power I’m talking about is resilience.
Resilience is your ability to bounce back, in the face of challenges or adversity.
Welcome to newsletter #13 everyone! 🌻
Today I want to bring to light a very very important superpower that we all have but often forget to use.
Why is it that some people work especially well under pressure? Or how do some thrive when faced with difficulties or grab every challenge and turn it into an opportunity to grow? How do some people manage to remain positive and hopeful even in the darkest of times? How did some people cope so well with this full-blown pandemic for 2 years now?
There are so many times, even in a single day when things don’t go according to what we plan. Our magic of being resilient is what helps us cope with our daily stressors and generally, all life problems.
But what does ‘being resilient’ really mean? It means you solve problems effectively, whether it is using your own resources, or asking for help, and believe in your skills enough to know that you will pull through and rise to the challenge at the end of the day.
Resilience is not an innate quality. You’re not born with it. Instead, you learn how to be resilient as you grow up. Your family, friends, and environment act as experiences that teach you how to react to challenges and how to bounce back. This also means that you can develop and grow your resilience throughout life.
Being resilient, however, is not ‘men don’t cry”, or “man up”, or “stop acting like a girl”.
✨ Being resilient, first and foremost, is acceptance. It is acknowledging and accepting the fact that you have been struck with adversity or have a problem on your hands.
In times where everybody seems to be entitled to perfect lives and happy pictures on Instagram, it’s important to not think, “Why me?”, because adversity, in actuality, doesn’t discriminate.
✨ Being resilient, secondly, is about paying attention to the right things.
As humans, we are genetically hard-wired to notice the negatives and weaknesses. We tend to see the threats clearer than the positives because they were a need for survival. When we’re bombarded with stress all day long, we unknowingly practice this evolutionary negative perspective of looking at situations and move farther away from developing resilience.
Very often, we let 5 minutes of a bad mood or an argument, drag on for the entirety of that day. In tough situations, it is important to evaluate the problem rationally, focus on things that can be changed, and reach a conclusion that is the least damaging to you.
Being resilient does not require you to blindly focus only on the positives, rather, when you’re resilient, you also tune into the positives while noticing the negatives. Of course, it is easier said than done and requires a lot of patience and practice.
✨ And lastly, ask yourself-
“Is what I’m doing right now, helping, or hurting me?’
This one simple question is going to teach you more about how to be kind to yourself than any self-help book you read for only the first 5 minutes after buying it. This question will give you control over the seemingly chaotic situation and will help you change what you can, and accept what you can‘t.
Resilience is not a trait that some people have and some don’t, but an ability, a skill. Everyone has the power to become resilient, and it requires only one, simple prerequisite- the willingness to give it a go.
Great post!
Would I be correct if I say - For being resilient one has to be able to see light at the other side of tunnel. Conviction that everything is not over yet and I can come back. And if so, what are some additional ways to develop that conviction?
yep, I always go by, "I adore me the most, how dare ____whatever is the reason for bad mood___ ruin my day. I'll just show them how worthless they/it is by being in the exact opposite mood, i.e., good mood"
Now, this applies even when it's clear to a person standing on mars, that they/it literally don't care about my mood.